Gina Answers: Surprise Orgasm During Non-Sensual Massage
Jay Asks:
I'm a registered massage therapist. Yesterday, an 18-year-old man came in. He was very socially inexperienced and so nervous he could barely have a conversation. He chose to completely undress and I began a Swedish massage. When he turned over and I began on his thighs he immediately became erect. His thingy was twitching uncontrollably, so I moved down to below the knee. Then I looked back up, and his face was bright red and his whole chest was covered in cum. I was shocked. He said it just happened without touching himself! Is that even possible? Can you offer me some advice for future occurrences? I just feel a bit dirty, I guess!
Dear Jay:
I can imagine this would be surprising, unexpected, and confusing for you (both). Fortunately, it is normal and I don’t think that there’s any need for you to feel ‘dirty’, or to feel that what his body did was with conscious intention. Without knowing all of the details of the interaction, of course I can’t comment as to whether you did anything to overstep your boundaries as a registered massage therapist. However, given what you have described, I would guess not. It sounds to me like this is a simple case of a young man who may or may not be sexually experienced enough to control himself, and who might have some social awkwardness to work through. It is quite possible that the combination of nervousness and arousal would, especially for an 18-year-old, cause a spontaneous ejaculation. Think ‘wet (day) dream’: involuntary, innocent process of the male sexual anatomy system. Even though we think of wet dreams as happening to acne-ridden 13-year-olds in their sleep, such is not the case.
The adolescent male body is raging with testosterone and producing literally millions of sperm a day. Young men, as much as they may appear calm to the naked eye, are like walking sexual time bombs in that regard! Many young men talk of having numerous involuntary sexual thoughts every day. Although likely embarrassing for him, what happened is normal, and does not indicate that his intentions were to be sexually inappropriate with you during the massage. It is more likely that he was nervous, aroused, and unable to move or leave the situation in order to control his arousal.
Also, as I’m sure you know, touch can be very healing and calming, but can also be arousing (non-sexually or sexually), sensual and intimate. Sadly, many young men (and some women) are starved for simple physical affection.
They may only receive physical touch when they are with a sexual partner, or may always associate the two in their minds even if they are not yet sexually active. As a result, the mere thought of being touched can simultaneously produce feelings of anxiety and arousal. Combine this with nerves, the involuntary reactions of his penis to physical stimuli, and the enjoyable touch of massage, and well…
I have a lot of compassion for you both. I hope this was not too traumatizing for you, and I encourage you to try to frame this as having simply been in the room when a young man was going through some innocent growing (pleasure) pains. Laugh. It could have been worse – he could have gotten you in the face instead of simply dousing his chest! The next time this happens, you’ll be able to deal with it with even more grace than I’m sure you did, and help normalize it for your client as well. You might want to keep a few extra towels on-hand, just in case.
-Gina
About Gina: Gina has been working in reproductive health for nearly 20 years as an educator and researcher. She approached Pure Pleasure in 2009 about holding a focus group for a research project she was working on and was impressed with Janis and Amy’s welcoming, sex-positive business and their commitment to community involvement and education. Shortly thereafter, Gina began working with Pure Pleasure part-time as a Pleasure Party Educator and staff member and is currently pursuing a Master’s in Human Sexuality Education. Also a parent of two boys, she is committed to sex-positive parenting.
