Better Sex for Every Body: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body

Ever find yourself halfway through a romp and suddenly start thinking about your grocery list or that weird thing you said to your boss three years ago? We’ve all been there, babe. Getting stuck in your head is the ultimate vibe-killer, but the good news is that pleasure is a skill you can practice.

At Pure Pleasure, we believe that all consensual sex is good sex—and it’s way better when you’re actually present for it. Here is your toolkit for ditching the mental chatter and feeling every single delicious sensation.

Wake Up Your Senses

The easiest way to stop overthinking is to start over-feeling. Seriously, your brain can’t obsess over your to-do list if it’s too busy processing how amazing your partner’s skin feels.

• Engage the Big Five: Focus on what you can smell, see, hear, taste, and touch. Notice the texture of the sheets, the sound of their breath, or the way the light hits the room.
• Slow it Down: We’re not in a race to the finish line, folks! Building anticipation with mental foreplay makes the physical stuff five million times better.
• Try Sensate Focus: This is a total game-changer. Spend time touching your partner (or yourself!) without the goal of arousal or orgasm. Just feel for the sake of feeling. No pressure, just love.

Flip the Script

Sex isn't a performance for the fucking Olympics; it’s supposed to be fun!

• Ditch the Expectations: Release the need for a "perfect" experience. If things get awkward or you start overthinking, just laugh it off.
• Silence the Inner Critic: When those "I look weird in this lighting" thoughts creep in, let them float away like a bad smell. Replace them with a little kindness for your amazing body.
• Get Grateful: Focusing on how lucky you are to be in this moment releases dopamine and boosts your libido naturally.

Connect and Communicate

Remember, you’re in this together. Open communication is the ultimate lubricant for a good time.

• Speak Up: Tell them what turns you on, and ask what they’re craving. It’s your pleasure journey—you get to make your own rules.
• Lock Eyes: Making eye contact is a powerful way to stay grounded and reconnect when your mind starts to wander.
• The Golden Rule: Always remember, you can change your mind anytime. Consent is the hottest thing in the room.

Build Your Presence Muscle

You don't have to wait until you're between the sheets to practice being present. Try meditating or just really focusing on the sensation of your coffee in the morning. The more you practice "being here" during the day, the easier it is to stay here at night.

Need more help on becoming present in your body for better sex? Check out Shameless Sex Podcast # 401 Naked Truth with Alicia and Erwan Davon: